Can anyone relate?
I don't feel horrible, horrible like I used to. Just alone.
Flat.
Last night I thought of two ways to describe it:
1) If the rest of the world is a collection of dots, I feel like the one dot that is out away from the rest, just out in space.

2) There is a room in my brain marked "motivation," but it's dark and unused. The lights have been off for years. Inside sits old, out-of-date machinery covered with inches of dust. Cobwebs are anchored at every surface. Outside of the room sits an old man on a stool. He has been there making sure I can't get in. When I approach the room he says, "you can't go in there" in a loud and booming voice.
So I turn around and walk away... again.
Maybe someday I will learn how to get past him, but I haven't yet.