sunny i could really relate to your feelings re family. of course it's ok for you all to go somewhere else! when family starts to pressure you, prob will, just say you have made plans and are going on a trip. the important thing is to not cave in. clearly your heart says no to being around them when you're so uncomfortable. it may be more difficult this first time but you have complete right to go elsewhere. their pressuring you is co-dependent behavior. like a rule that everyone has to be in the same place for a holiday or the roof will cave in!
i can't tell you how liberating it was for me to break away from family holidays. one year i just stayed home and i thoroughly enjoyed myself, visited with friends, etc.
you go girl!!!!