Quote:
|
Well, admittedly I'm new to this area, but what I read in attachment theory hasn't yet differentiated between gender needs in early childhood. The message I thought I was getting was that all of us need certain special handling as infants and toddlers in order to be socialized later on. And that special handling includes attunement and intersubjectivity and empathy and all that. Without that, whether boy or girl, people grow up with very stunted social skills. You're quite right in saying that in their own reproductive cycles girls have to call on their early childhood experiences to a greater extent than boys. Otherwise they risk perpetuating an eternal chain down through the generations. But as my brothers and I would seem to prove, damage done in early childhood can very much impair, if not totally destroy, the abilities of a man to carry out his reproductive role of support and bringing income into the family.
|
Yes, I've never read either where there is a difference between gender needs in early childhood. and yes, without all that people can and often do grow up with stunted social skills.(raises hand
) I'm so sorry you and your brothers didn't receive the care that you so needed.
I have an alcoholic brother and two sisters that are/were alcoholics -- one of which has passed due to her self neglect. I think it affects both genders profoundly..... as to the situation of so much talk of daughters with such mothers-- I think maybe it occurs so much as females share feelings more than males(society encouraged/discouraged) and also females are regarded as the gender that generally talks more... though I know I wouldn't qualify in that area.
I think men are just as affected-- in different ways perhaps but still just as "bruised". Men don't seem to be as vocal about it all.... and so then... in turn... the support is hard to come by.
I will support you any time you need a shoulder
I wish men would talk more about these things-- that way more women would understand what a boy child REALLY needs(get so upset when I see a mom ignoring an injured little boy but coddling an injured girl... argh!!!!) let me tell you-- that never happened in my childhood home-- the mother was callous to most of us- no matter gender. It was more of the personality type that she endeared-- and Nope-- I didnt' have that magic makeup.
best to you in your quest for inner peace.
fins