Quote:
Originally Posted by madisgram
a thought, distressed  -my T suggested this one to me...when i exit from an uncomfortable verbal exchange, i tell the person that i need to leave the room, etc because i am not enjoying my time with them. tell them/her you hope next time things will be more pleasant. then leave. use the "I" word rather than pointing it at the other person. you are empowered cause you have expressed that you aren't comfortable under the circumstances. this leaves her with no defense and the finger is not pointed at you. in other words you are not "giving them the baton". it difuses her power. |
Thanks Madisgram but my sister is a whole different thing. Today we had a fight because i was trying to tell her about a comment her husband passed in front of 8 guests we had over and that I felt insulted and hurt.
And she totatlly started attacking me and saying things like
so what the hell do you think, he should say sorry to you?
Like i never even said, tell him to say sorry, she just starts attacking, you can't even talk to her, no normal conversation... she's always been like this.
if you express anything, she'll say So what? you think...
or I was trying to comment on his behaviro and I said "theres a big difference between arrogance and confidence.." before i even finished what i was trying to convey, she said, SO YOU"RE TELLING ME I"M NOT CONFIDENT?WOWW>... YOU ARE NOT CONFIDENT SAM.
Do you see what happened here? 1. i wasn't done saying what i had to say so the message wasn't even completed. 2. i wasn't talking about her. 3. she totally changed the subject.
Most times if i say, I felt hurt when you said XYZ... she'll totally blow up and say "OMG. you're crazy! I WAS JUST KIDDING, YOU ALWAYS WANT TO FIGHT DO THIS DO THAT... blah blah and blah.." i can't take her anymore, just dont know how to deal with her.