thanks for your honesty Debbie and for sharing your story..... what struck me was that you had legitmized dying of this from an ed as it was not suicide after all- that's exactly what I have thought about so many times and the way I used to see it and still do... like I couldn't hurt my family, friends like that but if it were due to an ed so to say, they probably wouldn't even know... I know this makes no sense. and I know it's not good.

I really do not help but I have so much to keep me from getting that help.... I wish I could just give up. or pretend like this is all okay but I know it's not...... I have gotten to the point where I also just don't eat b/c I can't purge or b/c I am too tired to do so in the 1st place... I feel really down. really helpless.