I agree with lynn. I'm not so sure it's the age difference but simply the age. I had kissed boys when I was 12 or 13 but never had a boyfriend, and I think my dad would have killed me. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was almost 15. Relationships can take away a lot from what should be a fun childhood. Like you're saying, this is ruining your life. You're only 14......there is plenty of time to have a girlfriend later on.