So don't deal with her. Sometimes people are the way they are and if you get tangled up with them it will only drive you crazy. When I see a person who has "trouble" written all over them I keep my distance from them because it will be nothing BUT trouble.

It seems that you want a decent sister and this is a very good want BUT when you don't have what you want you have to know when to stop banging your head on the wall trying to get them to be what you want.

The same with wanting her husband to change. That is a big order.......