ok, so i didn't make it through the night without cutting. big surprise. i am so sick of all this crap right now, i can hardly stand it. i've gotten 'help', but it didn't help at all. well, i take that back, it did help, somewhat, it helped me to get better for a little while, but now i am not better, and therefore the help didn't really help now did it? ok, i don't know if that made any sense, but there it is anyway. i feel so lost, and these boards are all that i have, and i do mean all i have, because no one else understands, they just don't get it. they think that i'm trying to kill myself, no if i wanted to die, i would, i wouldn't just cut the crap out of myself. i would take or do something to make it all end. but i don't want it to end, believe it or not, i do have goals, dreams. i mean i want to be a teacher, but right now i wonder what kind of teacher am i gonna be? I mean if i have to go home and cut each night to relieve stress. that most certainly isn't a good role model. (sigh) i just really don't know anymore, and i'm to the point that i don't care either. Maybe coming to these boards in the first place wasn't the right thing to do, maybe i should have just kept it in, maybe that would have been better, or maybe i'm just going out of mind. Anyway, i think i'm going to go to bed...and stew, probably won't be able to sleep anyway. God, i am so sick of feeling this way, i'm so tired....just so damn tired, and nothing, not even cutting is helping...well maybe another cut would help....