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When depression takes hold of you it's hard to believe that anyone cares, but we really do. You are not pathetic. We understand coming to these boards for help - that's why we're here too. In my case, I wanted to talk to other people who SI, because I needed to understand it better, and there just aren't that many people who can understand that. My T has been okay with it, but he asked me to explain it, and I needed help to do that, which I found on the internet. Now he says I have to stop because I have to be a role model for other people, like you do too if you are going to be a teacher. I stopped for almost 2 weeks (and told him that I had stopped - I thought I had stopped) but then stress got to me and I did it again. I'm not keeping track of time too well lately, but I think that was a couple of days ago. Maybe this time I can make it just a little longer.

I don't know about you, but keeping it in for me just makes it build up and eventually it has to come out and it will be worse. I don't know if talking about the cutting helps or not, but talking about how you feel does help. I don't think that coming here is a mistake.

I hope that you feel better soon. And I would encourage you to see a professional if you aren't. You said it worked before. Maybe now you are having a relapse, but if you get some help you can beat it. I've had lots of relapses, but I'm getting better at picking up and going on afterwards, and that counts for something. You can learn how to deal with it better, as well as having someone help you get out of it this time so you can get back on track again.

Please take care of yourself! It's hard to care about yourself, so let us care about you and maybe knowing that will help you to get to where you can care about yourself too.

-Wendy

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>