Welcome Auqinu! So glad you found PC - I've found it to be a really great place for support and understanding!

As for feeling that bipolar sucks, I know how you feel. It can be so frustrating! One (potentially) positive side of bipolar is that there are highs and that one can use them to get things done. I love the good highs (the ones where I'm not out of control). Just know that there are people who know how you feel (if that helps!)