I don't know how I are going to get through this week. My (ex)husband will have my sweet boys on thanksgiving and the day after. I will be alone on thanksgiving. I have every day this weekend thinking about how different the holidays are going to be this year. I don't know if I am going to make it. I have had nightmares the last few nights and hardly any sleep. It seems like everything is coming down on me at once. Memories of my past, panic attacks now, SI now, my abusive husband being able to have visitation with my boys. My family still wanting me married to the jerk who continues to hurt me any chance he gets, like picking up the children. They just don't understand. No one does. I don't know how to go on. I feel lost and alone.