The things that were so hard for you back in August were much more basic than giving a demonstration. I can see that you've definitely made progress. There are plenty of people who don't suffer from anxiety or panic who would run, run, run from giving a demonstration to even one person!

I'm so sorry that you froze and were on the verge of tears while you were doing it. I'm so happy for you being able to do it at all, though. In my school program we have to give speeches and my teacher says every year at least one person runs out of the room and vomits! This is grad school, a program where public speaking is required. And no one thinks those people are pitiful. We all know what it's like to be nervous, and we're just grateful if we can ever make it through!

I don't want to invalidate your feelings. I know what it feels like to have those thoughts! Just hoping you are able to see the positive side of the experience once the stress has passed, and that you're feeling a little better today.