Quote:
Originally Posted by googley
Do I tell them that I don't want to visit and deal with their backlash to that?
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What would hurt more? or what is less convenient for you? The work you will have to do to mend yourself after a visit with them or the work you will have to do to mend yourself after their backlash for not going? There is no easy answer here. I stood up to my parents for the first time before and NO ONE in my family talked to me for an entire year. That of course passed  - and I'm given more respect.
Quote:
Originally Posted by googley
Do I tell them that I would be willing to visit them, but need to stay somewhere else?
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To me this seems like a great compromise. I don't know the particulars of your situation but I would strongly consider staying somewhere else. You may have to find a way to tell them why you plan on staying somewhere else...can you be vague with your reason? Like.. I'm going to stay at someone's house to spread my time around a bit and catch up with old friends etc...
Quote:
Originally Posted by googley
Last time I was in town I stayed at my brother's apartment but he has a tiny one now with nowhere for me to sleep. Do I tell them I'm not willing to come?
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If you tell them you are not willing to come just be prepared to tell them why (if they ask). I would try and discuss this with T ahead of time and have a plan for how to handle this. Don't know if any of what I've wrote you find helpful. Hope you find some resolution and peace of mind soon.
Wishing you comfort.
__________________
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara
Don't ever mistake
MY SILENCE for ignorance,
MY CALMNESS for acceptance,
MY KINDNESS for weakness.
- unknown
Last edited by geez; Nov 30, 2010 at 09:53 PM.
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