I for got to mention one other thing, the feeling of not belonging? Gone. I was just outside with the pooch and realized what the biggest thing is that has changed. And that is now I feel like I belong to the human race, not outside of it looking in. As I waited for the dog to do its business, I thought about how far I had come in the last few months and felt such a swelling of pride within myself I just had to smile. I feel good now, all of me. I feel like I've been touched by Grace, to know me as I should be and it feels real good. I also forgot to mention that back in September we hosted a party at our house for about 50 people, 3/4 of which I did not know. Not once did I feel out of place. Now I know I've not completed my journey as there are moments that crop up that could've/would've been ugly thoughts as before, but now I know where they come from and they are dealt with by the Adult me. No longer will my fears control my life, I have become responsible for myself and am becoming capable of setting boundaries. Take a look at my posts and you should be able to piece it all together.