One way to do that? Show her this post, if you can. This sounds really HARD. I would definitely be triggered by "my daughter is ill." It would make me really sad that I wasn't T's daughter. Then I would berate myself for the sadness. And on and on. I don't know if you react similarly.

Don't drink before session. Show up. Instead of acting out, use your words to express the way you feel. Tell her as much of these feelings as you are able, even if you have to just print this post and hand it to her. Work on these feelings, try to stay open, try to stay willing to work, despite the trigger.

(((Improving))) I think you're doing a great job so far though, sounds like this is progress, even with the angry text, and that is great.