No I am not seeing any therapist.

Initially, my "husband" didn't want me too. He still doesn't . But I am the only one who suffers. He lives his cocky little existence thinking he has done nothing wrong :

To clarify:

we decided to help a girl who according to him needed help. Soon, he did not want me to help. I was not allowed to see emails, or communications. He bought secretphones. And just started acting like he was having an affair. Then her mother, naturally wanted to know who was "helping" her daughter". But it turned that she just tried to seduce my husband. Maybe they had sex, I don't know. He lied about their interaction too. He was very mean to me. He broke my heart. And I don't believe he is really sorry.

So, I am not currently seeing a therapist. I need to because I can't deal with the emotions I feel and what seems to be depression. I feel broken. And I am not happy any more- at least not in the same way.

Today, I called him on his emergency phone. All he said to me, " why am I calling him on his emergency phone.Is it an emergency"?Then he comes home complains and leaves to go back to work.

It is just not fair. All I did was love someone and want my wishes respected. Now I am the one who hurts and has to use so much energy and effort just to get out of bed and go to work EVERY day. I wake up sad every morning.

I am so lonely. I have been at work all day. I came home and I am by myself all night with no one to be with or even say anything nice to me.

-B