Honestly you hit the nail on the head with that statement I was in abusive controlling relationships and this one is less controlling and I feel safe.. But my sanity is suffering because of it and it's extreme guilt and episodes of depression that I go through.. I'm like a totally different person.. But I have heard this several times that he is using me he is.. I know this.. I don't know how to address it.. I'm really tires of all of it.. I'm over the crap.. Every time I try leave he makes a huge scence or breaks down emotionally and I'm over it.. The things I have done for him amounts more than anything he could ever do for me.. And it's like I know I'm being uses and it's making me literally sick kissing weight always stressed on edge.. Looking for an exscape.. I'm conteplating just moving away soon that's the best thing.. Playing house isn't cool and I never allowed myself to be second to anyone
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Originally Posted by Leed
Hi Alyssa - Perhaps you stay because you know he's safe. By saying he's safe, I mean that you don't have to make any committment to him. He's already "taken" so you can basically have your cake and eat it too. You're "playing house" with a married man, but you don't have to put in any work like you do in a marriage. Or perhaps you think you can't do better than him, which you KNOW isn't true but your mind tells you otherwise.
This is definitely not healthy -- but think about this --- HE IS USING YOU. I hope you don't think he "loves" you because he doesn't. If he did, he wouldn't have married that other girl. Sure, he tells you he does, but he HAS to in order to get his "fringe benefits." He doesn't know what love IS. You're being used, and unless you want to continue being used, get out of this sick relationship and look for someone who deserves you.
There is someone out there for you -- someone who will NOT take you for granted, who will NOT use you, will NOT cheat. Let this bozo go. He's not worth your time. You deserve a new start in life - you've wasted enough time. God bless and best of luck. Hugs, Lee 
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