Ughhh where to begin.........

Well, I am sad this year. I'm always a little sad during the holidays since Mom's been gone, but I always get excited as Christmas draws near. But this year, it's differant. I can't even watch all the Christmas shows or see those commercials with all the toys my kids want. My husband was supposed to get called to start work today at this company that pays very well with good hours and some overtime. We got happy and excited because we were going to get the boys a good Christmas and for the 1st time buy eachother something, but now since they have'nt called, I don't know what we're going to do. I started drinking again. Not alot, just enough to help me sleep, 2 fingers of whisky every other night. The stress is horrible. I can't eat, I keep headaches........ugh sorry for the whining