yoda, you have certainly had a double dose of loss, not easy to deal with, try to remember the good times before he started using meth, that was the real him, your man, after that it was probably the meth runing him, i guess i had it easy i only lost my man once! i don't know much about people who use drugs but am here if you need to talk about your man, your losses or how his use of meth affects you, i may not have the answers but am a good listener!
take care of you, you are still special xx