I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving! It will be difficult here and there, but maybe if you reveal your intentions for Thanksgiving, you'll gain some cooperation (shot in the dark). I tend to go with the flow, but I think the host should retain control of the recipe used.

My grandparents home was my family's central hub for holiday celebrations, but he died five years ago, and she had a stroke three years ago. Sigh. As hard as it was during the first few holidays, I found that working in a few incremental changes (mine, someone else's) into the menu helped ease the transition. I know, traditions weigh heavy on the heart.

Don't worry about perfectly replicating the dinner, I think the fact that you have her recipes and are pursuing them is the beautiful thing. Allow for some difference.

I hope it works out.