Dear Rebecca, Hi, may I add to the voices letting you know you're not alone? No kidding. I agree with the rest of the gang here that talking with a therapist is a good idea.
For me, most job situatios were just full of too much stimulation. Not to mention stress. It took all I had to force myself to show up and be there, let alone have anything left to actually do the work I was hired to do.... Once my body just broke out in puss sores all over myself.... GET ME OUT OF HERE was the messege. So, I quit.
Found myself starving to death in NYC for my 21st birthday.
This was back in 1970. The womem's movement was new. There just weren't the resourses and choices there are now.
Can you let go of pressuring yourself about a "career" and figure out if there's a job you could do comfortably? Walk dogs? or something? Take it easy on yourself while you work on figuring out what's going on? Maybe even consider a time on disability to let your nervous system calm down? That's the bullet I had to bite, and it saved my life. Plus a lot of help from people who cared.
I can't imagine what life would have been like with something like this site back then. . . We are not alone. Just that helps me so much. Everybody's out there shovelling their stuff, keeping their shovels nice and shiney, making compost for their new growth. Sharing the good the bad and the ugly. Caring. I hope you find a way that gets you through this yukky stuff. I' rooting gor ya!
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