My therapist said I'm the most depressed client she has that's not in a hospital or group home. She said not to mean it as a bad thing but for me to think of myself as resilient. That i'm still fighting, even if its not hard core most of the time.

She let me know i need more than just her. I need to go and try a place that has groups and other things i can participate in. im going, its just hard to get up the energy to get myself ready then drive an hour to get there.

Still have had urges. i haven't cut yet. i hope i don't. i started smoking again. i guess its better than cutting.