I'm sorry things are changing (for the worse?) in your life. Please go ahead and plan some regular holiday stuff for yourself (and just in case the ex changes things up and doesn't take or keep the kids!) Holidays are tough for everyone... and those of us who suffer from loneliness, depression, and most any other mental health issue find holidays especially tough. sometimes, holidays are greatly overrated, you know? My T has helped me in times past by helping me think that "it's just another day" and once it's over, yeah, it was.... TC