You are very kind to respond to me. I have been laying here and hardly slept. I am trying to talk to myself and say that she will be okay when we go there this morning but I honestly have more anxiety than i can almost bear.
She was very reassuring to me promising she would never say that I was involved, and I was stupid to buy into that. No one else there would have done it. Relatives arriving now have been asking me about everything. I'm serious- if this gets out I don;t know what I will do. Im not very stable myself.
I keep envisioning driving up and being confronted by her adult kids and then by the other people.I have been practicing lying since she said she wouldn't drag me into it. I am not kidding,,I have had panic attacks and felt anxiety before and this is much worse. Usually I can envision the other side of a situation and know it will be okay.
I keep thinking of all these people who I have been looking straight in the face the last couple of days. Geez I think my body is going to give out. Seriously I dont want to be conscious but I know I will be