I just feel someone should say, the fact you werent told the truth until it was too late, isn't your fault in my opinion. When you think about it, how can you do something, about something you know nothing about? I've had some personal experence of this, and if your not told, you think nothings up, of course its going to be bad if your told about it when its way too late to resolve it.

That said, she may have been afraid of being honest when it began as a problem for her. As such choosing, that not telling you was the lesser of two problems. However, sometimes honesty truly is the best policy. I know if I was told that my an element of my behavior was causing an issue early on, I would be upset yes, but at least I'd be work together with them to improve things. Commuication is so important.

I'm sorry you've had to go through that. Hopefully you can just take what you've learnt and eventually, come out the other side able to be a better partner in the future. Sorry if I've gone on a bit, just a subject that struck a cord with me.