hmmm well yes he is still helping me.

I went to see him yesterday and I was a little anxious about how I am feeling ... I had written stuff about this and so I gave it to him ...my words .... my feeling like I am struggling a little ....

I guess I am reacting a little to him getting married....I guess I kinda feel like a kid who doesnt want to share him....haha ... so silly! My other friend said I should be happy for him....hmm inside I feel like a kid that has her arms folded across her chest pouting! "I dont want to be happy for him!" bratty....
I have written him since in email and I think he will respond like he always does...kind and caring and understanding.

I dont think changing T would be good for me. I guess I need to work through whatever it is that is nagging at me inside...

I wish I was normal like people who never had to deal with these issues .... I guess I wish I could grow up to meet someone like him...

so silly....41 and still trying to figure life out.... and how to be close to people and be healthy
thanks