Bear:

I do the same thing. Many times I ponder about how I want to commit suicide. I am a very visual person and I picture it in the most vivid detail possible. Sometimes it actually helps me to not think about it anymore, but then at other times it makes me even more eager to go through with it. Strangely enough, I've found that when I can't sleep at night I envision scenes of my suicide, or even what hell might be like if the thought that suicides go to hell held any truth. Usually it works like a bomb, I'm asleep within minutes. Something I use to get out of a suicidal rut is to research methods online to see what you can do and how you can do it, and also to find pictures of previous successful suicides. It tends to help most of the time. But the yearning to get away from it all usually returns quite soon, and with it the desire to kill yourself.

sanityseeker:

I do that quite a lot too, pray for my own death. The other day I was driving on the highway with two family members and a friend in the car. The only thing that kept me from driving into the oncoming traffic was the fact that they were in the car. But I desperately pray for my death quite often, so that it wouldn't have to happen by my own hand. I've had too many failed attempts (yeah I guess I'm too much of a p*ssy to go through with it), and the awkwardness of facing everyone after that is just not my cup of draincleaner :-P.

I hope you guys are feeling okay today though.