(((sunny2009)))

Well, that is a tough situation. I struggle with holidays and birthdays every year. So, I'm no expert either.

I do have a couple of tips that may be helpful to you.

1.) You don't have to have the whole family present on holidays. Invite whomever you truly feel comfortable with. If you aren't comfortable with anyone in your family, maybe you should stay away for a little while, until you do re-gain emotional strength.
2.) You could attend holiday parties ~ acknowledging, in advance, that it won't be easy, but that you CAN handle it.
3.) Set a timer to stay an hour or two (whatever) you think that you could make it through.
4.) Keep talk topics very light and totally unrelated to family or the past to make it through the time.

The techniques listed above do help me through holidays and birthdays. I entirely skipped Thanksgiving, as that's the toughest holiday for me. Spending the time alone, with my boyfriend was completely new, and a positive experience. I don't always have to spend every holiday with my family for the rest of my life. That is my decision to make. And I deal with whatever sore feelings (or whatever) that may pop up as result. It worked out really well!!!

Best wishes to you sunny!