It would be best for you to tell someone. As hard as that is it will greatly help you. I'm so sorry for all you are going through. There is a thread somewhere in the Eating Disorder Forum that talks about telling people I'm pretty sure. Telling anyone will help. Even if it is just a friend. Choose wisely however because you want to feel safe with them. I wish the best of luck to you sweetheart. If you need to vent more on here go ahead! We will listen!