Duchess

I am sorry things are so bad and that a post on these site has taken a little away from the feeling of support you get from this forum. I hope this will only be temporary and that you will continue to be involved here and reap the benefit of sharing and understanding that is the norm here.

First please remember that people have different opinions here and find strength from different sources. Sources of strength are a very personal thing. Some people find a huge source of strength and support through their religion and their religious community, others may find that it doesn't help them much, and will therefore seek other sources of support that are more effective for them.

For myself, although I am very spiritual, I don't follow any organized religion and don't really believe in a personal god. That just doesn't do anything for me, personally, so I focus on what helps me. However, I personally get a sense of "well being" from seeing other people tap into their sources of strength, even if those sources seemingly differ from my personal beliefs.

The thing on this forum is that with so many differing opinions sometimes people are bound to ruffle one anothers feathers. For us, whatever we hold onto for strength in our lives is so important to us that it is easy to become defensive when others seemingly disparage those beliefs. Members here should always try to never let that cause them to become "defensive" or "judgemental" toward others but given human nature that won't always hold true.

I can't speak for others but my thinking is that someone on the other thread felt hurt to have their beliefs discounted. It obviously touched a nerve, and they reacted. It certainly does hurt to have some dialog "flare" so I don't want to tell you that your shouldn't be upset, but try to not take it too personally. Remember that for people here, we are not only talking about "religion" as we would be discussing it in a casual conversation, but rather, because of our illness, our beliefs, whatever they may be, are a strong foundation on which we base our recovery. That makes it all the more likely for someone to become angered by messages that go against the core of those beliefs.

Maybe it will help to realize that the above holds true no matter which side of the "fence" you fall into.

Please don't allow differences of opinion weaken the overall good that the support on this board serves to help you feel stronger.

I am a big believer in accepting your feelings so I want to again say that I understand completely how bad this bit of conflict makes you feel. I feel it myself often. But while I know you won't let anyone's comments rock you of your beliefs, also please don't allow them to make you uncomfortable on the forum here which is also a powerful source of help for all of us.

For what it is worth, and again I am only speaking for myself, personally I don't take any offense to any quotes from the bible in any posts. To me, people are only expressing their personal source of support, and I can accept the positive strength that that provides even if it doesn't have the same effect on me. One of the keys to any support group is the realization that while many times it is hard to think clearly for yourself, it is often easy to find kind words for others in a similar situation, and in doing so it helps you find some strength within yourself and also makes you feel good about helping others. Of course you can't do that without expressing your personal beliefs. Sometimes others will see that as showing the "light" of your personal strength, but other times people will see that conflicting with their own beliefs and may become defensive about that. And sometimes people may feel the need to let off a little "steam" about that. That should take the form of a personal message but unfortunately sometimes it does.

I hope this doesn't sound as if I am saying that you should limit your posts about religion. I believe you need to be able to express yourself freely here. I am not meaning to say "be careful what you post here" but rather to let you know that your beliefs are of utmost value to you, and may help others. If someone reacts negatively to this (hopefully that will be few and far between) please don't let it shake your confidence in this place. Hopefully anyone who disagrees with your beliefs will be able to find and keep their own sources of strength in life. It is kind of a Catch-22, because those people have to be able to express their beliefs or disappointments as well, but hopefully for the most part this can occur without huritng the feelings of others.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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