That's a really good question!! I used to think it was better to cry if I felt like crying, but then I had some experiences of crying so much and letting myself feel the pain so deeply that it scared me. I felt completely overwhelmed by the intensity of my grief and when I finished crying I didn't feel better, I felt worse. It was like falling into an abyss. So now I try and not let myself get to that point of no return. I do still cry sometimes, and I think it is important to cry. But I try and pull back before I reach that place of crying so hard and feeling the pain so deeply that it threatens to completely engulf me.

I'm just talking about my own personal experience here. And I'm definitely not saying that crying is bad!! Just, there's an edge that I try and avoid going over when I cry, so I don't fall into the abyss (if that makes sense).

Also, I don't think about "happy things" when I'm very sad. But I do try hard not to think about even more sad things. I have this tendency to torment myself with even worse thoughts when I'm already down. That's what I mean about going over the edge. So I try not to do that when I'm sad. Instead I just try and accept that I'm sad, without making myself feel even worse by piling on more sad thoughts and feelings (easier said than done!!!!!!)