I read these posts and it was if I had written them myself. I gained weight in my earlier college years going through medical issues and never got it off. I have lost 65 lbs now but am still considered obese (5'7" 215 lbs stabilized now). I hate thinking and seeing myself as such. I avoid mirrors, pictures, and shy away from people because of it. It has one positive thing that people shy away from me too which being the survivor of a rape, keeps unwanted attention from me. In that I am grateful but only in that. Not enough to keep it on though. Embarassment keeps me from the gym b/c of the stares and comments I still get every time I try to go, and my hips and knees hurt so walking is an issue. I have been to dietician and eat the proper things and amounts, but w/o exercise, no more is coming off. I have to swim, do low impact aerobics, or cardio. I am frustrated and do not feel, on one hand, how I look; it is a different person. I don't know who this is. I used to be attractive, my appearance and frustration brings me to tears now. I miss the self confidence to say 'to heck with everyone else' and just go, but it gets to me.