My Support Forums - View Single Post - What Do You Say When You Don't Know What to Say?

(JD) · Dec 03, 2010, 10:06 AM

I think it's important to validate them in what they are feeling. While it isn't good to let our feelings run our lives, knowing what we are feeling is okay.

What a person might post might not be true, in the truest sense, but to believe that for them ( right now) it is true how they are feeling, whether their thinking is correct or not,and their posting allows us to validate that.

For many issues, it really doesn't matter what we think about what they are feeling but to acknowledge that we understand somewhat that they are suffering from something is important, imo.

Just like in session, many patients don't really want advice, they want to have their voices heard. They need someone to listen to them! They need someone to care enough to let them know that their needs are validated, and they're worth being heard (even if the actual "argument" they present is not accurate.)

Even some of those who write that they want advice might not really. They might need advice but are, as yet, unable to accept what they need to "do" to heal. So worrying about giving advice here really isn't what the site is about, from what I believe. It's about giving support.

I personally hope that everyone who reads a post would post something, even if, like Pegasus shows, it's "only" a

. I know that isn't possible because so many read here that are not members, and therefore can't post.

For many here, seeing a ton of reads and yet few posts can be depressing. (Though a good response here is about 10% of those who have read a thread.) But yet, no one need feel guilty about reading and not posting!

But that's why we do see members write, "I don't know what to say" or "I just wanted you to know I read your post" type responses. They know how it feels to not have many responses, and really do want to give support, like you ygrec.

BTW, I tend to PM or leave a visitor message for posts I've read, rather than on the board which bogs down admin reading.

It feels good to be heard!