Hi StacyMay,

These questions aren't easy...
But it sounds like you are understandably trying to protect yourself, your mental health and take care of you. This isn't crazy at all. It is a very healthy way of saying "this is going to cause me pain and I don't need it."
Will staying home feel comforting to you? Maybe this is the best plan and you have all the right in the world to simply tell your family "sorry, I have other plans this year." I know someone who didn't return home for Christmas for years and years, also due to abuse.
In an effort to not be too distanced from others is there any place you could get out to? Like a kitchen or church that makes meals for those who cannot afford them? This is always a nice way to help out a bit and meet some friendly people.
Are you seeing a therapist right now?
Sending supportive thoughts your way...

E