I'm coming up on 5 months sober, which is the longest I've been sober since March 09. And I'm really struggling with wanting to drink. I know what's triggering it - it's fear around my unemployment situation - I'd just like a few days of oblivion from my feelings so that I can get away from my all consuming anxiety.

I'm praying, going to meetings, and talking with my sponsor and others in AA, yet I've got the obsession bad. I know it's my sick alcoholic thinking. I have so many reasons to stay sober, and I know how risky it would be for me to pick up a drink, yet I still want to.

I really want to stay sober. I want to get my 6 month chip in January, and I don't want to let everybody down. Most importantly I don't want to risk killing myself. But I still want to drink.

I'm taking it an hour at a time these days.

Thanks for reading.

--splitimage