Baltazar,

You sound like my wife. You want it all. Nothing to feel guilty about. Sounds like you are in a committed relationship with a safe guy, but can't get the passion from him. That would be me. I don't live in that world, but I try to understand it the best I can. I admire it and love it from my vantage point.
I think that the stability gives you a foundation to spring forth your passion into safe areas. If you find the passionate man to share your life with, you will have magic in the short term but ultimately struggle when your passions diverge. You might find someone who you could share your passions with longterm, but it could take a lifetime to find. And who know if it will blow up until you've spent your life with them.