Dear BNLsMOM--You're not a terrible mom, AND get help. I don't think having the day alone to yourself is all that good of an idea. I want you to call your crisis help--whomever that is-- and get the ball rolling. I hide from my parents--I really get that. I try to hide from my own family--don't want to be either an emotioinal burden or a time burden.

So, first, you make the call. Then, if you can, you do something very small that is nice for yourself and that you won't let yourself do if anyone else is around--either watching or wanting some, too--like eat ice cream when it's the last of the tub, or not after eating dinner, or whatever. Maybe the something very small is letting yourself wear your best scarf, your best earrings--no matter that help is coming. Maybe it is putting on your coziest socks? Doesn't matter what it is.

I really know the not-showering, skipping-the-whole-hygiene thing. I know how it feels--not just the inability to do it, but the embarrassment and maybe even shame that come from it. But, you know what? Big deal that you're not following the 21st century expectations--hey! you're saving water!

You're a good mom. Let this one ride. .. It's very complicated and not something to be thinking about right now . That conversation will come with a therapist.

So, please get help now, and let us know what's up.