BNLsMOM, here's the deal: I don't know what the values are like in your family, but my parents will do anything for my kids (the grandkids), and they will probably do anything for me, but I am too ashamed to ask for it, so for a long, long time I was/am an angry person a lot of the time around them--because they're so nice and I'm always needing, needing, needing/taking, taking, taking. My kids have the best daycare imaginable, because of my parents, and my husband has help if he needs it. I was in and out of hospitals a couple of time, face down and zoned out in my bed a lot (especially every med change), I read a lot to escape anything/everything, etc. (No TV, because any sharp noises sent me over the edge).

My life has, in many ways, been possible because my parents were willing to make the choice to spend time helping and being there to love the kids when I was a zombie and my husband was working hard.

Your parents want to help. Think of this as letting them help. Life is so uncertain, I am positive , they will be sad the rest of their lives for the choice they made to "do what you wanted" and go on vacation when what would have made the most difference in the world was to help you, the grandchildren they love, and your husband, who deserves this extraordinary and generous kindness.

Parents can be amazing people. It is beautiful to let them rise to the occasion. I hope I will be able to do so for my children some day. It seems so impossible--I am not the person my mother or my father is...but I will do the best I can. I am sure you do, too. You have a condition. It is difficult to live with. It is not your fault. And the things that happen to you, the way you feel, the fears you have while you cope with it are very, very difficult. That's all. It means that life looks a certain way sometimes. And so it does. Other times it will look different. They all know that by now, and they will share the good times, too.

Much love to you as you work through this. I wish I could be there to hold you, give you big hugs, wait this out with you. ((((BNLsMOM))))

Tell them that you need them. Let them help. Let people love you. They want to.