Wow I am so glad I found this post. I feel the exact same way as you.Though the weird thing is I was raped in the past so why would I want such aggression taken out on me now? I don't understand it at all. But you pretty much just spoke my mind. Tell me if you find any other information useful please because it's sick and disturbing what I imagine during masturbation and sex to be able to get off. I wish the thoughts would just go away. I'm sorry that I can't be of much help and give you any information but it's always good to know you aren't alone.