WOW! You and I have this in common Googley .... I feel your pain. It is very hard to say no. I am also working to say NO to Christmas! UGH! I wil be honest ... it would be the best thing ever to say NO! I would rather spend the holidays anywhere but with my family....I cant wait until I finally get the courage to just say it and I think maybe I will this time. Reading your post made me feel so emotional for you, and reading the replies of each person here and just connecting completely with this subject. i want me to face the fear I have. I know its hard....and I know you and I are crazie anxious about it ... but ... just think, once we hang up the phone ITS DONE YAYAYAYAYAYA! guess I hope you will feel encouraged to do it too! ..sending safe hugs and take care of U first...U are your best and only advocate for U ... oh yeah ... if u do cave in, staying at a hotel or a friends would be the best thing you can do to keep you emotional well being in shape ...then you will have you space and they will have theirs....with time controlled visits at your command .... haha I should take my own advice huh!? luckily (or unluckily) I dont live that far from the parents ... so a place to stay is not in the equation. hope you feel better