i have all the feelings u have & its a really dark lonely place just wish i could go away to a long term mental hospital & live there i dont feel i serve any purpose i cant even cry cuz of the zoloft yes im on meds but like they always said in the psych wards i cant just depend on the meds well i work out read my bible but i realized im gainin all this weight cuz im a stupid sugar addict & workouts arent enuff to burn it all off i just hate myself & hate everything i feel so ugly i know ive been depressed since childhood also cant talk to anyone noone to talk to anyways i feel like giving up my exercise & eating but then i will just get fatter & fatter & even more depressed. i have a t but i dont want to go out of the house i need to write him a letter & explain maybe he will commit me but last time he said theyve got to where they dont commit u unless ur gonna kill urself or hurt urself & i jokingly said well i can always accomodate em by standing there & cuttin away like i feel like doin rite now cant go on like this