I think I'm losing my mind , nothing seems real. Everything seems to be in a haze. I see shadows of figures running on my walls ,and I feel like I'm always being watched . I sometimes find myself at places when I don't remember how I got there . Even my art has been affected ,I find drawings in my room of twisted and mutilated figures that I don't remember drawing.(I usualy draw manga .)I'm not violent so I don't know why I would draw things like that.

I was raped by another guy more than twice my age when I was eight years old and I can still feel his hands touching me sometimes when I have panic attacks or flash backs. Somebody please help me , l'm not sure I can live like this much longer , l already attempted suicide once and I'm tempted to try again.