I think your right about him dealing with everything by keeping me isolated. His parents and I had a long, frank, discussion about his behavior this weekend. Alot of what has held me back from my taking the initiative to forcefully encourage him to seek couseling has stemmed both from my own preoccupation with the hurt that I was feeling and from the fear that I think he has maybe encourage in a way that if I put it down to counseling or leaving, his parents will use their wealth to take my son from me. They have now told me that they too want him to seek counseling, and actually come to find out they are dealing with much of the same feelings as he has told them that I want to leave and never let them see their grandchild again(which is ridiculous). So now everything is out in the open so to speak. Everyone just wants him to get some help so he can be happy...his mom actually also expressed to me her fear that he's going to hurt someone or himself, something that I have also struggled with. I think I am prepared to leave if he refuses help...I guess where I am now is just giving him some space to calm down and get over the feeling that everyone is "ganging up on him" His parents and I all sat him down and told him we want him to see someone...I told him I'll go with him if he wants...I think at some point I really should so that we can discuss our marital issues but I think he needs to work out some stuff about his childhood first and reconcile the past that he keeps rehashing before we're at that point. I just really don't know if he'll ever agree to go or if he does if he'll be openminded about...he said to me a few days ago that counseling is pointless because if the therapist doesn't agree with him "he'll just know they're a quack and couseling is riculous anyway" Anger, resentment, they're just the emotions that he's comfortable with and I think it's been that way for so long that he really believes that they are just who he is and then, yes, resents that we want to "change" him. Anyway, I'm hopeful but I don't feel so lost anymore...I know that for him to heal he has to want to heal and I'm not afraid now to leave if he chooses not too. I'm going to try my damndest to help and encourage him to want to, but if ultimately he doesn't, I feel much more confident now that the right thing for me and for our child would be if I moved on. The most important thing for me is that my son not be hurt by his behavior if he chooses to accept it as who he is. I know this may sound callous but I don't know what else there is to do...I have friends who treat me with more affection and respect than my own husband does...it seems to be that everyone (including myself) has enabled his behaviors by not putting their proverbial foot down and if I have to now be the one to do it...well maybe he'll hate me for it but maybe it'll be the wakeup call he needs.