So I've been married for 7 years, have two beautiful children with him. Last year he beat me up twice, not to mention he likes to hit, shove, twist fingers and be menacing when he's angry. I forgave him the violence. I understood we were both in awful places mentally. I was barely functioning and yeah I know it had to be hard on him.
The end of may I started talking to him again, he told me he still loved me and wanted to be a family with me. We had a pretty good summer, as far as summers go. He didn't really move back in with us but he was here a lot. I tried to give him room and myself time to forgive each other and talk and spend time together. In September I started asking him if things were ok. It seemed something was off with us. He always replied things were ok. It just seemed things were getting to normal, I was sick, the kids started back at school. It was just wonderfully normal functioning family crap. Turns out he didn't want to talk to me because his time was given to a 19 year old online at night while I was sleeping who he works with.
This came as a surprise to me, just a little bit. This is the man who says he loves me, is still sleeping with me, often. It comes out because first he says he's leaving me. He blames it all on me... things I am doing. He must leave because I am going downhill.
I accuse him of everything under the sun I don't understand, he just slept with me the other day, he just told me he loved me. How can things change so quickly? He says he will stay if I quit smoking and start doing yoga again. That I have to be awesome for him. That it is all my doing. The problems in our relationship. I am all bipolar and crap wondering when he's going to leave. What is the next thing I do that will make him leave. Will it be because the floor isn't mopped, if I yell at the kids, if I don't make him dinner. Not a fun place to be. Then it comes out that he has told this 19 year old that he will leave me and our kids for her, that he will do anything to be by her blah blah blah she is the sunshine he can not live without. All of this communication happens while I am sleeping. Can you imagine what my sleep turned to after that? Yay me. bipolar paranoid and by this point more then a little crazy. well turns out she said no and he wants to work on our relationship and stay together blah blah blah. I tell him ok but that I need some time to get over this crap, I will work on forgiving him but he needs to stay away from her. Why you say? I love him, I love him with everything in me. I can never stay mad at him for long. I always understand him. He's so funny and freaken smart. We have so much fun together when things are ok. I love talking to him watching movies with him when we actually can get out I have so much fun and he's my husband of 7 years and the father of my children I don't want to throw this away. I know people can get past this kind of crap, I know they can and do. So we go along. He's telling me he loves me and of course sleeping with me. Then I find out his little promotion at work was to go work with her she also got the promotion a little earlier. I find out he's taking breaks with her, going to lunch with her and working everyday 8 hours with her. He didn't exactly lie, but the whole omission crap when I asked him to stay away from her and give me time to get over it. well this doesn't seem to be what's happening. So now lol I am his jailor, he cannot stay at work for lunches, cuz it drives me insane. Well it drives me insane to think of them working like that everyday and he adores her, she is his sunshine. I cannot ask him to quit his job, this promotion also includes quite a bit of money, he's happier, due to the fact that he's working with her or the actual position who knows. The job itself is better for him then his previous position. So he has to come home for his lunch hour. So I know that he's not spending that hour with her. lol Sounds like so much fun for me huh. Then it comes to light, well he logs on facebook in front of me and he has messages so he logs out super fast. Well why would he log out. haha yeah these messages are from her and to her and yeah the staying away from her part is not working for him, giving me time to feel a little better yeah, Im even more of a jailer, he wants to be married to me, work on our relationship but cannot even stop sending fb messages to this child. So now I am not able to sleep wondering what's going on between them in facebook. I get his password from him and make him delete her as a friend and send her a little message of my own. Basically to leave my husband alone. At this point I am thinking he's not going to be able to stay away from her, he doesn't want to. Otherwise there would be some proof that he could. The whole action speaks louder then words huh.
What do you think
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