i was in an abusive marriage-physical and mental. in a support group i joined i learned that statiscally there is no "cure" for these types. that statistic is very much like a child predator, no "cure". so i hope that gives you credence if you doubt.
you say you love him, etc. that was another thing explained to me...i was really just in love with the notion he would change. NOT. i was in love with what i wished it to be. i resisted this thought at first...but learned they were right. it was not love in the true sense of the word.
if it were me i'd leave this loser. there are nice guys out there that would truly respect you not control you. he's already proven to you he is not committed as you are, girl on facebook. what other evidence do you need? there is no percentage in staying with him for all these reasons. imho the abuse is the scariest cause i was warned, stayed, and was almost killed by my hubby.
i hope you will ponder over my post and the others. abuse to another human being is never acceptable. it doesn't have to be physical to call it abuse. your description of your relationship is frightening to me.
stay safe.