invisigirl, I too was abused by a sibling (and stepfather for 10 years) my family was certainly disfunctional, my mom convinced herself it didn't happen and still believes so even though i told her many times, After years of trying to pretend everything was ok in the family i couldn't do it anymore, i needed to start living the truth, i had already moved away, so broke ties with my family altogether,(ok it was extremely hard, the guilt of hurting mom,the hassle i got every xmas to visit them etc, but i had to do it, to give me room to be honest,to let the 'little girl' in me be believed, for her to be told the guilt, anger and disgust she was feeling were ok, to realise it was them who were wrong not me, to realise i was not to blame and what had happened as a child could no longer rule me) I too found it extremely impossible to trust anyone to get close, i resigned myself to a life on my own, that is when it happened, my perfect man entered my life, ok i really did not trust him at first but he was persistant, took one tiny step at a time, understanding and never pushed me to do or say anything i did not want to do.
one day long after you stop trying to trust people and just concentrate on protecting yourself, you will suddenly realise there is a person who you really like spending time with and who really likes you for being you, that is the time you will be ready to begin to
trust again, until such time just remember you are never alone, there are always friends here on this site to listen, help or talk to xx

remember you can't choose your family but you can choose if they rule you!