Hey everyone I needed a little advice on my relationship. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 years, December 15 will mark three years. I can say we have been through a lot throughout this relationship. He tells me all the tine that I have trust issues and I realize that. The first day we met it was like heaven then about a month after that I start checking on him going through his phone whenever I got a chance. The reason being is I used to dance with one of his ex's in a competition and his ex would always say how he got abused and was cheated on. Well the abuse part wasn't popping up but my intuition kept telling me to check up on him so I did and that was the start of my distrust because I found some text telling his ex's that he misses them.

From then on I started to develop an attitude problem because I can't believe the only person I loved so much would do this to me. I. also developed one because I kind ofl lied about a couple of things in the begining of the relationship. One lie was at the time I told him I was 17 when I really had just turned 16 and he was 20. Another one was I tried to impress him and tell him that I didn't want any gay friends (oh yea I'm sorry we're a gay couple) when indeed I really wanted them because I want to be friends with my kind and know it's like his making me stick to that lie because everytime I bring up the fact that I need a friend he will always be like only if its a girl or the gay friends has to be his friend first then he can be my friend. Kind of silly isn't it. But these are what also brought about my attitude. So about a years into the relationship he told me that he was dating someone else because of my attitude and if I can change oit he would be happy to comeback. So I got rid of it and fought his new bf and he came back. But this situation had tool my trust down a lot.

About a year after that my attitude had risen again this time very badly to the point that we were fighting. The reason this time is I was finding text messages to other guys about sex, nude pics dating website profiles I had no clue about and just a lot of distrust. So upon me having this attitude he went and cheated on me with 3 other people. This completely threw my trust meter down to 0%. Now it's been a whole year since that situation and we are still together. But its been so hard for me to trust him to the point that I'm getting stressed and depressed about it because I go through his phone and still see dating profiles and texts. When asked about it when he's in a good mood he says he'll stop but when he has an attitude he tells me when I stop and start trusting him he'll stop. I'm just so confused and getting so tired of living a lie. I don't want to leave because I love him so much and I just don't wanna throw 3 years away. So please could u give me some advice