I stopped reading at "I love him I love him, I love him with everything in me. I can never stay mad at him for long. I always understand him. He's so funny and freaken smart. We have so much fun together when things are ok. I love talking to him watching movies with him when we actually can get out I have so much fun and he's my husband of 7 years and the father of my children I don't want to throw this away."

It's let your children see you beaten up and treated like dirt teaching them that to be beaten up is ok and it's ok to use you as a backstop when others reject him? This is very dangerous for your kids and bodes ill for any relationships they enter into.

I really hope that you will gain some self esteem and self respect and kick him out of your life. Sure let him see the children if he is interested, but leave it at that. Be friends even but to allow him to stay in your life as a life partner is asking for trouble until he meets the next woman he wants to leave you for, and that will happen.

Please understand there is no mean words here at all, I am just flabberghasted and trying to explain what I see. Lifting a hand just once would be enough for me to say "I love you but this isn't on...goodbye", no turning back.

I do hope you are ok