I am so sorry you feel the way you do. I understand about not liking your body...that is a big issue for many women so you are not alone.

Have you talked to anyone? Therapist or do you go to a psychiatrist on a regular basis? You may need a medication adjustment or different meds altogether. I strongly urge you to seek help right now. I know in the past it hasn't worked but try this time. Try hard to feel better. You cannot get better if you don't try. Please try!