Yes, so true! I keep saying, "and this is supposed to be what better is?" It's hard.

The end results are starting to be seen though in the form of a shared experience...with the pain is also joy and awareness of self. The pain, pain that was never known, let alone felt, is so foreign. It almost physically hurts, if that makes sense.

There is a comfort even in the pain and crying. It feels so...real, thorough, complete. I can't think of an appropriate word for it. I can't set it off to the side. I can't bury it deep. It's right up here with me...all through me...felt by all of me.

Thank you again for understanding what I'm saying and feeling.

KD